We have a tendency of focusing only on the baby after the birth, yet becoming a mother is a huge transformation - one that takes time to process and one that’s worth celebrating. So I thought I’d make a list of some ideas that I had or would’ve enjoyed as a new mom - be it the first time or with any subsequent child.

A personal reflection on the joys and challenges of motherhood - and the eternal questions of “can we have it all?”.

As mothers, self-care can easily become another thing to add to an already overflowing to do list. While the yoga classes or spa days, or even a weekend away are always lovely, they can also come with a lot of stress. What is self-care truly about? Deep down, it’s mainly about making sure our nervous system is regulated. And this is something that we can do even in the busy, messy, beautiful moments of motherhood surrounded by our little ones!

So often we are just caught up in the day-to-day life - and as parents in our fast-paced society, it does feel like we are constantly meant to be doing something: looking after our kids, the endless list of household chores, meeting the demands of our employers, exercising to look after our bodies. It’s not always natural to stop, to take a moment to press pause, to do nothing, just be. And savour the season of life that we are in. We are now living the dream that we used to dream of when our children were babies. We’ve reached the stages of them being older, more independent.

I don’t remember when I first came across the concept of matrescence. Yet once I read Amy Taylor-Kabbaz’ book Mama Rising, I knew that I was onto something. Amy writes that “motherhood changes you. Every fibre, every cell, every area. And with a little understanding, support and deep compassion, it will be the making of you”.

Just recently I finished an audio book of a romance novel, where the girl and the boy get together at the end. In the last chapter, she dreams of their future together, of slow days where she sits in bed writing novels while their baby is sleeping peacefully next to her. Listening to this ending made my body react. I felt the bliss of the main character, and at the same time, I saw the reality of motherhood as I’d gotten to know it and I realised that those images clashed.

I recently saw a post on Instagram that that mothers would like to hear more positive stories on motherhood - and not always the challenges that parents and mothers in particular are facing. As February is nearly over, I thought it was a good opportunity to take a moment and reflect back on the moments with my children that brought me joy in the past month.

Children are often sick, particularly in winter. When they can’t go to nursery, childcare gets challenging with parents needing to work. In Switzerland, it’s possible to hire an emergency nanny in these cases - but would I want my child to be with a stranger when they are feeling unwell? We need to find creative solutions and think out of the box in order to have workplaces where parents feel welcome and supported.

Despite many amazing opportunities in my career up until I became a mother, I felt like a failure on so many occasions. Learning about competing devotions and re-defining my values on my matrescence journey has helped me find clarity in what was truly important to me and take decisions that align with who I am in this season of my life.

A little update on what I’ve been up to in the past 6 months and why it’s been so silent on this blog.