Why we should gift the Mother, not just the Baby

Written By Lynn

Before becoming a mother, I used to buy a cute toy or stuffed animal for my friends when they gave birth. I felt like selecting something that seemed really adorable was the most important aspect of this task.

After becoming a mother for the first time, I realised that you are gifted so many toys and stuffed animals and that many gifts, while really cute, will never be used. There’s some very specific toys that my kids absolutely adored - but I’ve also heard the most positive feedback of certain toys, like this wooden rainbow (ad - not paid) that the kids of my friends loved playing with for many years, while my boys were hardly interested in it. My conclusion after one baby: preference for toys and stuffed animals depend on so many factors and it might be quite complicated to find the right one that doesn’t end up just collecting dust in a dark corner. So now I either buy onesies (because you can never have enough of those) or stick to the list if there is one.

Then my second son was born. While we didn’t need much stuff for our second baby, because we already had so much, adding that second little person to our family was much more live-changing and emotionally challenging than the first time round. For the first time after giving birth, I received a present just for me after the birth of my child, a luxurious bath set to use when I needed a break.

I absolutely loved the idea of gifting the mother and not just the baby. After all, with every child, a mother is born too! It made me feel seen as a mother and showed that I too mattered in this new relationship.

We have a tendency of focusing only on the baby after the birth, yet becoming a mother is a huge transformation - one that takes time to process and one that’s worth celebrating.

So I thought I’d make a list of some ideas that I had or would’ve enjoyed as a new mom - be it the first time or with any subsequent child.

#UnpaidAds I’ve added some links to service providers that I know & enjoy, simply because I believe in what they do and would like to give you some ideas if you are researching something particular.

Thoughtful Gifts & Gestures for the Postpartum Period

1. A Special Postpartum Ritual

We often rush through the postpartum phase, treating it as something to endure. But after my second birth (in the middle of a Covid winter), I realized how powerful it can be to slow down and honour this season.

While traditional confinement practices aren’t easy to follow without help, I recommend marking the end of the postpartum phase with a ritual just for the mother. I had a Rebozo massage — a gentle, scarf-based treatment from Mexico — and found it so healing. Many practitioners now offer postpartum or mommy & baby massages (great if your little one is a good sleeper — unlike mine at the time!).

This kind of gift might feel “unnecessary” in the whirlwind of new motherhood, but it can be a beautiful way to nurture yourself or someone else.

Local suggestion:

2. A Doula Service Voucher

I didn’t understand the hype around doulas — until I had my second baby, with no family nearby to help. That’s when I realized how valuable postpartum doulas can be.

They can support you at home, help with small tasks, or simply hold space when everything feels overwhelming. Especially if your village isn’t physically close, this can be a true lifeline.

3. Just Hang Out With Her

Honestly, what I missed most after my first birth was someone simply hanging out. No pressure. Just presence.

We don't do this enough — especially here in Switzerland, where independence is the norm. But being that friend who shows up, makes their own coffee, maybe holds the baby for 10 minutes while mama showers — that’s everything.

Be the friend who shows up without expecting anything. That’s a real gift.

4. A Book on Matrescence

Many women haven’t heard the term matrescence — the emotional and hormonal transformation we go through in becoming mothers, similar to adolescence.

Learning about it was such a relief for me. It helped explain what I was feeling, and made me feel less alone.

Books I recommend:

  • Mama Rising by Amy Taylor-Kabbaz — the one that changed everything for me

  • Matrescence by Lucy Jones — a beautiful blend of personal story and science

  • Motherkind by Zoe Blaskey — just started this one and the first chapter is absolutely spot on!

Bonus: Some mothers might prefer audiobooks or podcasts — great for stroller walks or late-night feeds. Try:

5. Food (Always a Good Idea)

When our second baby was born, we asked visiting friends to bring food. It felt awkward at first, but also essential — I wanted company, but had no energy to host.

Years later, we returned the favour and brought meals to friends with a newborn. They told us they finally understood how huge that gesture was.

Ideas that always help:

  • Bring homemade meals

  • Gift food delivery vouchers or a subscription (like Hello Fresh)

  • Drop off frozen meals

  • Cook at their place or help stock their fridge

6. The First Forty Days by Heng Ou

This book deeply resonated with me in pregnancy. While I didn’t fully practise confinement, the idea of nourishing the mother first really stayed with me.

It’s a beautiful gift, and I often cook recipes from it for new mamas — or even for myself during certain parts of my cycle.

More about Heng Ou's work here

7. Postpartum Supplements

There’s often a gap in understanding around nutritional needs after birth. I’ve personally benefitted from targeted supplements that helped me feel more balanced and less depleted.

If you’re curious, The Postpartum Depletion Cure by Dr. Oscar Serrallach is a great read.

I also love using chicken essence: energetic and healing, it is common in some Asian cultures for postpartum recovery. I bring it back from Singapore whenever I visit, for those extra-tired days. You can also make your own — there's a recipe in The First Forty Days.

For Swiss readers: Bollwerk Pharmacy (Bern) stocks postpartum-specific supplements.

8. A Touch of Self-Care for Mama

It can feel tricky to buy skincare products for someone else — especially postpartum, when our bodies are going through so much change. But I’ve found two simple, gentle items that have stood the test of time for me.

Almond oil has been part of my routine since my first pregnancy — for my belly, baby massage, or simply to hydrate dry skin. It’s natural, versatile, and soothing. A high-quality almond oil makes a thoughtful gift that feels both practical and nurturing.

And then there’s the Farfalla anti-fatigue face mask, which a friend gave me after my first son was born. I still remember how good it smelled and how refreshing it felt during a time when I was anything but rested. It’s one of those little luxuries that reminds you: you matter too.

Which of these resonate with you? Is there anything you’d add? Drop me an e-mail with some feedback, I’d love to hear from you!

Lynn
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The good and the bad in motherhood